I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
