I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Randomize
