Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Randomize