Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
