But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
