u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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