It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize