So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
