HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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