Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
