we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
