Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
