I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
