he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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