there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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