you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
