I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
