he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
