office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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