none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
