i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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