May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
