I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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