I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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