well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
