You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
