Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.