my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?