Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?