she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
