I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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