1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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