Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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