i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
