at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
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Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
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I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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