your room smells of hookers.
And success
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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