He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
