Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
