eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
