I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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