i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
