his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
