what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
