My friends, they love my intelligence
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.