I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.