clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.