we're blogging at a bar
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Randomize
