puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
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There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
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We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear