I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
