oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
