Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I want to make a zoo with you.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
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