3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
