Midget sex pt 2 tonight
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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