I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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