I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize