God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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