what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
