Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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