we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I didn't notice because vodka
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
