I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
you will always have a special place in my vag
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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